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Doubt

By December 8, 2015August 28th, 2020No Comments
THERE ARE WORDS IN ENGLISH THAT I LOVE HOW THEY SOUND (STILL THEY ARE DIFFICULT FOR ME PERSONALLY TO PRONOUNCE!)  DOUBT IS ONE OF THOSE WORDS.  EVEN IN SPANISH, IT HAS A NICE SOUND, DUDA. WHEN YOU PRONOUNCE IT, I LIKE THE WAY IT SLIDES OFF YOUR TONGUE.  BUT THE MEANING OF THE WORD ABSOLUTELY SCARES ME IN EITHER LANGUAGE.  AND YET, DOUBT IS A PART OF OUR DAILY LIFE.  I KEEP IN CONSTANT CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF IN MY MIND, DOUBTING MY DAILY DECISIONS. I HAVE DOUBTS IN ENGLISH Y TENGO DUDAS EN ESPANOL!

WE HAVE OUR MUNDANE DOUBTS:  IF I GO TO THE GYM REGULARLY BUT MISS ONE WEEK, I DOUBT IT’LL MAKE A DIFFERENCE, OR WILL IT ???…  IF I WATCH THAT MOVIE, I DOUBT IT’LL CHANGE MY LIFE, OR WILL IT?

BUT I’M REFERRING TO THE MORE PROFOUND MEANING OF THE WORD DOUBT.    I FIND THAT THE CRUX OF SELF DOUBT LIES WITHIN THE QUESTION OF LOVE:  DO WE LOVE, DO WE FEEL LOVE, ARE WE DEMONSTRATING LOVE, ARE WE RECEIVING LOVE, AND THEN MOSTLY… SHOULD WE BE DOING OR FEELING ALL THIS?  I SHOULD SAY THAT THIS CAN APPLY TO ALL LOVE, NOT JUST ROMANTIC LOVE (ALTHOUGH MOSTLY ROMANTIC LOVE!).

DOUBT IS A PROFOUND FEELING THAT COMES FROM DEEP INSIDE OF US.  IT IS DETERMINED BY PAST EXPERIENCES, BUT CAN ALSO BE CREATIONS IN OUR MINDS…. OUR DOUBTS IN SOMEONE OR IN OURSELVES CAN ACTUALLY BE FOUNDED IN TRUTHS THOUGH OFTEN THEY ARE INVENTIONS OF OUR INSECURITIES.  WE HAVE THE FREEDOM TO DOUBT WHETHER WE SHOULD DO OR BE INVOLVED WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE, HOWEVER, WE GET OFFENDED WHEN OTHERS HAVE THEIR OWN DOUBTS ABOUT US!

DOUBTING SHOULDN’T HAVE SUCH A BAD CONNATION.  IT CAN BE A GOOD THING.  BEING A WOMAN, I FEEL THAT I HAVE AN EXTRA SENSE THAT HELPS ME WHEN I HAVE A DOUBT.  THIS EXTRA-SENSE ALLOWS ME TO ACT IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY GUT FEELING.  THAT IS, WHEN I ACTUALLY ALLOW MYSELF TO LISTEN TO MY GUT!  I’VE NOTICED THAT WHEN I DO LISTEN TO MY GUT FEELING, WHEN IT IS SO STRONG, THE ONLY OPTION I HAVE IS TO: TRUST.  I DEFINITELY USE THIS GUT FEELING WHEN I’M BUYING FOR THE STORE.  I CAN’T PONDER IN DOUBT, OTHERWISE, I WOULDN’T GET ANY WORK DONE!  I JUST TRUST MYSELF!

IN MY MUSINGS I’VE DECIDED THAT THE ONLY THING THAT CAN COUNTER DOUBT IS FAITH OR TRUST.  WALKING THROUGH LIFE ALLOWING DOUBT TO REIGN IS TOO PARALYZING.  THAT’S WHY WE END UP CHOOSING FAITH- SURE, THERE IS RELIGIOUS FAITH, SPIRITUAL FAITH, OR SIMPLY FAITH IN THE SELF.

TELL ME, HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THE ANGUISH OF DOUBT THAT SHOOTS THROUGH YOU AFTER YOU HAVE MADE AN IMPORTANT DECISION IN YOUR LIFE?  IT COULD BE A BUSINESS DECISION, A DECISION REGARDING YOUR KIDS, MAYBE A DECISION TO COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP?  THE LITERAL WORD DOUBT JUST SITS IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH, MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE IT IS GOING TO DISSOLVE YOU.  IT REALLY IS A PHYSICAL FEELING!   AND THEN TIME HAPPENS AND INSTEAD OF THE DOUBT DISSOLVING YOU, THE DOUBT ITSELF DISSOLVES!  I DID DO THE RIGHT THING!  I DID SPEND ENOUGH TIME!  I DID ACT WITH INTEGRITY! I DID THINK THROUGH IT ENOUGH!  I CHOOSE TO TRUST THAT PERSON!

FAITH.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?  EXPERIENCES?  PLEASE WRITE ME AT GUADALUPEGOLER@GMAIL.COM