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PENIS ENVY

By October 4, 2019August 19th, 2020No Comments

IT IS 10 PM AND I CALL “SIRI” ON MY PHONE WITH INSTRUCTIONS TO SET MY ALARM FOR 4 AM SINCE I HAVE AN EARLY FLIGHT TO CATCH. THIS IS A RATHER UNNECESSARY MOVE ON MY PART SINCE MY INTERNAL CLOCK RARELY LETS ME CATCH ANY REAL SLEEP IF I HAVE A PENDING EARLY FLIGHT.

I ARRIVE AT THE AIRPORT WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO FIND MY GATE.  THE MEXICO CITY AIRPORT IS BUZZING WITH ACTIVITY.  THE AIRPORT IS HUGE AND VIBRANT.  THE ENERGY IS PURPOSEFUL.  PEOPLE HAVE PLACES TO GO AND NEED TO BE ON TIME. I WALK SLOWLY AS PEOPLE WHIZ PAST ME.  IT IS ALMOST AS THOUGH WE ARE LIVING IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS.  I GET THROUGH SECURITY WITHOUT A HITCH.  DAMMIT.  NOW I HAVE SOME TIME TO KILL!  I DEBATE WHETHER I SHOULD GET A COFFEE FIRST OR GO TO THE POTTY ROOM. I CHOOSE THE LATTER.

THE SIZE OF THE BATHROOM STALL IS RIDICULOUSLY SMALL. I SHUT MYSELF INSIDE ONE OF THESE STALLS WITH ALL MY STUFF INCLUDED:  CARRY ON SUITCASE, HANDBAG, MULTIPLE COATS (I GET VERY COLD ON AIRPLANES).   IT IS AT TIMES LIKE THESE THAT I ENVY BEING A MAN.  SOMEHOW IN MY HEAD I THINK THE AMOUNT OF STUFF I CARRY WOULD DIMINISH AND I WOULD BE MUCH FREER.  STILL, I DO NOT THINK I TRULY HAVE PENIS ENVY.  WHAT?  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?  WHAT THE HELL IS PENIS ENVY?  I DO NOT WANT A PENIS!

SIGMUND FREUD WAS A PROPONENT OF THE THEORY THAT AS YOUNG GIRLS, WOMEN EXPERIENCE PENIS ENVY.  IT IS A COMPLICATED THEORY AND I THINK I CAN SUM IT UP IN A NUTSHELL . . . BUT MAYBE YOU WILL BE INSPIRED TO LOOK IT UP.  APPARENTLY, FREUD SUGGESTS THAT WHEN A YOUNG GIRL DISCOVERS SHE DOES NOT HAVE A PENIS, SHE DEVELOPS “PENIS ENVY” AND BEGINS TO RESENT HER MOTHER FOR “SENDING HER INTO THE WORLD SO INSUFFICIENTLY EQUIPPED.”  GIVE ME A BREAK! ILL EQUIPPED! WHAT?!  PERSONALLY, I THINK HAVING A PENIS ADDS AN ELEMENT OF DISTRACTION, NOT POWER.  BUT THAT IS MY ADULT THINKING . . . NOT THE UNAWARE, INNOCENT YOUNG GIRL BETWEEN THE AGES OF 3-6.   UNFORTUNATELY, I CANNOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SIGMUND FREUD ABOUT THIS THOUGH IT GOT ME THINKING THAT IF I WAS GOING TO BE ENVIOUS AND HARBOR A DEEP DESIRE TO HAVE A PENIS, IT WOULD DEFINITELY NEED TO BE THE PENIS OF DAVID.  THAT IS MICHELANGELO’S DAVID  –  SNAP, SNAP!

BACK TO MY TINY BATHROOM STALL. I FEEL LIKE FINDING THIS STALL TO BE RIDICULOUSLY TINY IS QUITE ARROGANT OF ME.  THIS ENTIRE BATHROOM WOULD BE AN AWESOME APARTMENT IN NYC OR MEXICO CITY!  ACTUALLY, THE WORLD IS GETTING SO POPULATED THAT SHARING THIS KIND OF SPACE WOULD NOT BE BAD.  I AM JUST SPOILED FROM LIVING IN THE EXPANSIVENESS THAT IS NEW MEXICO.

I WISH I TOOK UP LESS SPACE, CONSUMED LESS, PRODUCED LESS REFUSE, DESTROYED LESS WITH MY NEED. I DO NOT, HOWEVER, WISH I HAD A PENIS. I THINK A SMALLER SUITCASE WOULD HELP.

I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS, PLEASE SEND TO MY PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS,
GUADALUPEJ4K@GMAIL.COM!